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[26 Nov 2009|01:53pm] |
"catherine stood in the middle of the room, after he had left, and wondered why she suddenly felt empty and cold; why she hadn't known until this moment that she had hoped he would force her to follow him. Thens he shrugged, and smiled reproachfully at herself, and went back to the work on her desk."
- the fountainhead
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[14 Nov 2009|07:14pm] |
i just got SO MUCH good music; i thought i might share my tactics and see if anyone else has their own to share?
i head to gomusic.ru and browse their list of 'new releases' (they categorize them by month), open up a zillion new tabs, and give them all a quick listen. you can buy them on the site for next-to-nothing, but the pirate in me loves a challenge, so i google '(band name), mediafire', and everything so far has come up!
some things to check out:
- message to bears - departures
- molina & johnson - molina & johnson
- joy electric - favorites at play (covers, but good ones!)
- le lendemain - fires
- kings of convenience - declaration of dependence
- felix - you are the one i choose
currently still downloading the new owen, cougar, lady and bird, and the clint mansell score for 'moon'. got ponyo and moon both paused on vuze too.
incase you havn't noticed, ive gotten a real internet connection back! its a hack-job, and will need to be tweaked tomorrow to make permanent, but for now...hooray! i love sitting at this thing, just dicking around. wish my room wasn't so cluttered, though i guess it does help it feel cozy!
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[26 Sep 2009|03:27pm] |
ahh livejournal!
this last week has been pretty hectic at work. not really stressful work, just constant work, and sadly 3 days this week i didnt get out in time to go run. i made up for it by running this morning though! fuuuu im gonna be such a hottie :>
when i got back, i looked in the sink, to see that no one had bothered to do any of the dishes. i know for a fact that nothing in that stupid sink is mine, but something was also rotting, so being the only one up i was like 'god fuck it' and just did them. i was going to wait, but no longer. i'm just going to tell people that if they can't do the communal "oh look, im about to put my dish in there, but how about instead i just clear the whole thing out, and yeah it sucks and is boring but the next time its full i won't have to do it", then PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER RIGHT AFTER YOU USE IT. seriously; we're so lucky to even HAVE one, so fucking use it! i have literally filled and unloaded it the last 5 times, and have also been the only one to sweep/mop the floor in there, AND clean all the surfaces and tidy up all the bullshit. last weekend i did it everyone was like, "oh hey alex thanks for doing that", and i was like don't thank me, someone else has to do the livingroom and the bathroom.
of course, does that happen? of COURSE not. its like geezus fuck, i worked out at the gym, cleaned the entire kitchen AND bathroom (because i fucking know nobodys gonna do it) in 2.5-3 hours. seriously. that is so, COMPLETELY someone else's responsibility next time. completely. utterly. i think when everyone gets together im going to say something in a non-passive aggressive way. i mean geezus, the bathroom was DISGUSTING. we hadn't washed it since the party, and even then we didnt do the actual shower/tub/walls, just the floor and a quick swip over the sink, which we all know only lasts about a day when 4 people use one bathroom.
okay phewf im done. i got to finally pick up my laundry from monday (they had closed by the time i got home from work every day this week, haha), so i got to CHANGE MY SHEETS! i put the new ones on, 15$, but they're REALLY thin....which is prolly why they were so cheap haha. oh well, it was worth a shot...at least i can use them in the interim. put all the laundries away, put all the stuff™ i had piled up away, dusted AND mopped my room (hardwood floors ftw; also, hadn't mopped since we moved in whoops), and am now sitting on a field of victory. theres something about the weekend, it just makes me want to get my life in order. probably because i really don't have any time/drive to not live in my own filth during the week, so its actually a relief to get it done.
i'm really excited to be working out. other than yesterday, every day ive gone in the last few weeks ive actually be looking forward to it. its like building a big lego thing...you put a piece on every day, and slowly you see it taking shape into something. i feel better, i'm getting tired at normal times, AND i'm seeing a physical difference. whoopie!
the roommates -julian +zach's gf are going to see inglorious bastards later tonight, which should be good...i wanted to go, was gonna go by myself, but everyone seemed into the idea, so we had to wait till 4 when joe got back from brunch. of course i just looked up times, its not playing at the lincoln center (or..anywhere else) until 630. BOO. i really dont want to spend money, so i dont want to go out (its not particularly sunny, and a little crisp -- im actually excited my room is sort of toasty now, haha), but man!
as exciting of a daily-overview i'm sure this is, damn. i love sitting back and reflecting on all i've gotten done. i feel so accomplished today! and hopefully tonight or tomorrow i'll see the boything for a drink or another movie or something? that would be excellent! i love getting ims/text messages telling me i'm so cute. hahahaha presh.
until later!
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[11 Sep 2009|08:08pm] |
Seriously I cannot stop farting. All fucking day I've been in and out of the bathroom. I only had 6 grams of fiber in my chews damnit !!! Why is my body punishing me so ??
I broke down and ate a bag of m'n'ms. Shame alex....shame! 30% of your saily saturated fat intake in one friggin bag !!
Incase you couldn't tell, I'm trying to eat healthier...ly. As in, more servings of fruit and veggies than....none, basically, haha, and no more junk food! And by junk food I mean cheese/dairy, bacuse I already gave up 95% of my comfort food, only to replace it tenfold with cheese. There was no cheese in my dinner last night, thank-you-very-much !
This is gonna be rough goings, but my new goal is 15-20 lbs by xmas. I swear....tanning is so bad for you, but in the 3 times I've gona so far, I always leave so....motivated! I think because you see chnages so regularly, whereas with diet changes/working out (when you barely even make it to the gym....sigh) so not.
Okay time to get off the pooper and read moar webcomics....my job lately has been ridiculous haha.
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[12 May 2009|03:19am] |
I hate waiting for the train to nj. Well see how long the train around new york takes to piss me off, but right now...we coulda been 15 blocks from where we live! I could have said 'I'm kinda tired, I think I'm gonna call it an ealry night' and peaced. Instead I spend how much time just....sitting here, waiting!!! I was trying to figure out finances too...if my rent is about 1k, that leaves me with 1200k, which if I split in half gives me 600 a month to put into savings, which gives me like, 300$ to spend on living: food, transport, fun. Ill have to figure out how that works with groceries and such, but right now that works out to 20$/day, which seems MORE than fine.I've just gotta keep an eye on what I spend, so if I maybe set aside 100$/pay period for groceries and put away less, then I could only go out a third-half the time through daily money I'd be saving, and any extra I could put in a rainy day fund!? So I'd have some money unbudgeted for to burn every so often? I'm so excited to really be an 'adult', making choices to effect the future!
Gosh I'm so tired, I wish I could work from home tomorrow....the idea of going in just seems like more thn I could bear :( my bed I so comfy, every morning is such a struggle! That's why I've gotta try to not lose the bubble on working out in the morning to the temptation of sllleeeeppp....
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[09 May 2009|02:45am] |
Hello LJ! I have so may newses!
Firstly, I HAVE AN APT. IN NYC. BLOCKS FROM CENTRAL PARK!!! It just hit me, as I was talking to my friend-now-also-roommate julian, THIS IS HAPPENING!!! Our move-in is June 15th, which is nice cause that gives me another paycheck to add to my savings account before it allll happens. The sad part is I'm gonna be losing a lot of space for furniture I bought...I'm just gonna ask if I can leave it at home until I make enough to not live in a tiny-ass room haha....I'm gonna be living with 3 guys, hopefully I can get a decently sized room, but I'm def gonna have to buy furniture to fill it up, I don't think much of what I have now will work..I'm gonna try to get one of those ikea cube-shelves maybe, and I def need room for my desk....and painting!! We gotta paint, there's nothing sadder than offwhite walls..I hope the other guys are aligned with that and will maybe help..I know julian will but I'm not sure about joe and zach. It would be cool if we all could just hekp eachother, it would go so much faster! I also, sadly, don't think right now ill have room for my zebra...I'm still gonna get it, but it'll have to live in the garage I'm afraid :(...I hope my parents are aligned with that! OMG I keep squeeing over this I can't wait to be so on my own! Living with friends! Goin out in the city!! NO MORE COMMUTE!!!!!!! AHHHH!!
Okay. Breathe!
The second thing to happen was on the way there I totally ran into cameron whitehouse, who said clayton just moved in too! So now we can finally do our lord of the rings smoking game!
OMGGGGG okay I cannot get out of my system that we found such a goo place! Under 900$ for me, and I feel...totally okay with everything. We have a HUGE livingroom, a HUGE kitchen...holy fuckin shit.
AND a hot dude just sat down next to me. AWESOME DAYYYYYYYYYY
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[10 Apr 2009|03:16pm] |
so randomly the other day i was sitting at work, and i thought to myself 'wow...i really want to play ragnarok online again!'. its very frustrating they don't have a mac version; i really don't want to pay for it, so im trying to use crossover and get on a private server, but it doesn't look like its going to work. i have a last ditch effort and then...i guess ill have to try to partition my drive and install windows...gak :\
will update as it progresses!
edit: ugh, so i got windows all installed and shit, and then i get on the RO server....and it fucking lags SO BADLY i can't do anything! and to install another client would take, like another two hours. sigh. i feel defeated.
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[23 Mar 2009|01:14pm] |
The most frustrating thing ever: getting to the bus stop super ealy, sitting and waiting until about 3-of like I do EVERY DAY, then getting out to realize that nobody is at the stop anymore. Which means, while I was waiting in my car, putzing around, the bus got there super early and took off.
I am SO FRUSTRATED right now! Plus the fact I was actually supposed to have left an hour before normal, but I was exhausted.....now I'm going to be an hour late. A great way to start the week :x.
I also found out that one of my chilhood friends mandy will be in the city this week! And I'm supposed to be meeting a student of one of my old teachers whose also in the city this week to talk about design. Phewf, hope the workload this week doesn't totally suck.
I also added my bondo to my deer head to finish off the skull cap, only to find that it does not sand down even close to as much as I need it to.....so I'm going to have to invest in a dremmel to really shave away at it and get it smooth. Balrrrghh. Its funny when you start a project and you theink you know what its going to involve/how long its going to take, and then you just keep getting surprised! I really need to go over the body with some spackle too, I hadn't realizedhow seriously dinged up it really is. Who knows if I can ever get it as smooth as I would want, but after all this I figure it owe it to myself to try :/.
Cut and paste was awesome! But that's a story for another entry :).
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[20 Mar 2009|09:33am] |
i am 360$ away from being debt free!!! i want to sing it from the mountaintops!!! huzzahhh!!
also, everyone should check out the live feed on saturday night of cut & paste; ill be competing in it! hoosha!
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[17 Mar 2009|11:35pm] |
one day i hope i have enough money to build the house of my dreams. part of it will be underground, much like a hobbit hole. maybe even with a ridiculous door like that. the inside will be supre modern, and there might be a secret passageway or two. who says theyre only for castles, honestly.
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[16 Mar 2009|09:47pm] |
Wow typing on the crackberry is so much easier when you have nails!
So I'm standing in the bus line for the first time in 10 days; its weird to have actually gotten out early for once! I'm almost bot sure what I'm gonna do with myself....oh wait, yes I do!
- work out/shower/eat
- make a poster to send to local friends to remind them about this saturday
- we just got our themes for cut&paste about 10 minutes ago, so I've gotta spend alll night coming up with things!! I'm so nervous, thank goodness I have julian to bounce ideas off of!
Its gonna be a full night! I'm really excited to jump back into working out since I'm actually getting home on time! I was going to 'work from home' tomorrow, but there's no time for that, so maybe thurs, or friday? I can't go out friday anyways, gotta be nice and rested for sat :). I just really want to get to the damned taxidermist! Arghh!
I'm so hungry, my goal of only buying salads this week (or packing a lunch) is going to be rrrrough :x. It sucks cause I'm hungry, but I can't eat until like an hour after I get home (two hours from now) cause I can't work out on a full stomach! Once I move into the city, it'll be so nice to work out every morning; ill basically be waking up the same time I do now, only ill be getting something seriously important outta the way ill never have to deal with after work! That right there is an extra 1.5-2 hours on the end of the day, coupled with a 20 min commute vs the 1hr40min one I got now!!
UUGGHH it would be so perfect!! If only I had the monneeeyyyyy :(
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| oh god i love you, i mean forever |
[14 Mar 2009|07:59pm] |
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rocky votolato - suicide medicine |
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okay ive tried to hold it back as much as i could but!
i hate twitter!
this is not pointed at anyone; some people need their dishes cleaned right after theyre used, some people can stand them there for a day or two, and some people can go for weeks as they mold. my point? certain things that are unacceptable to some totally work for someone else. with that said.
i dont get the point!
to me, it seems incredibly vain, like people want to read whatever mind-vomit you have every second of the day. i, for one, hate micromanaging, and that just seems like the epitome to me. half the posts dont mean anything to anyone but the person its reacting to, which just seems ridiculous to put online to me. thats what texting is for! and email! and...comments!
sigh. i just dont understand it.
in other news, i never was really that into the moccasin fad, but my mom had a 30% off at old navy, so we headed down there and i found this really cute pair! i really like weirdly colored shoes when theyre faux-suede...they just match everything! i also found a badass pair of heels at target that were a patent navy, and SO AWESOME, but they only had a 6, and i needed a 6.5, and honestly i dunno how to match shiny navy heels with anything useful. and also i was trying to exercise restraint with my monies. :x i have to move out on time! god damnit!
also, i am obsessed with Rocky Votolato!
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[17 Feb 2009|09:34pm] |
so for the last few months ive been trying to get myself seriously into working out. i never really have before (i stopped playing sports at the onset of highschool, the time where your body really starts to settle into the way it will look for a while), but the good part of that is that all of these muscles i have have yet to be ripped apart, and i see results fairly quickly. the sad part is, my job + my commute makes it really difficult to not only have the time to work out, but the motivation (its hard getting home at 9 and turning around to work out, which takes about an hour and a half start to finish). i made this chart to try to keep me more 'on the ball', and hoping that putting it online means people can judge me (ha) for being a slacker. and also i love updating things, so hopefully that will help keep me on track.
im just so ready to be comfortable with the way i look! im not overweight (lb-wise), just right in the middle (5'2" 125 lbs), but its more about the look than the numbers. im tired of muffin-topping over jeans. thankfully ive started getting to the point where i can't hear/feel my thighs rubbing together when i walk (that doesn't mean they dont, just that i cant pick up on it audibly anymore haha), but i have all this extra...skin. like theres an inch of me everywhere thats just blubber, and then under THAT is lex. its gross.
ive also finally given in and have started using lotion. well not lotion exactly; body butter i guess, but just..EVERYWHERE. i cant even believe how much nicer my skin looks, ive even started using special face lotion and my complexion just look so much...smoother. now, i wish my hair would freakin grow out more; right now its looking a little butch, which coupled with my negative attitude about my looks just makes me feel like the world sees me as a lesbian :\. not that theres anything wrong with that, but it certainly doesn't help my confidence with meeting guys lolz.
i know they always say you should do things for yourself, but i am a terrible motivator, so hopefully doing it for all the hot guys in nyc should kick me in the rear :).
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[16 Feb 2009|05:46pm] |
woooosh.
im so proud of myself, it is done!
took about i guess 2 months (before xmas to now) to go from a 5'x3' piece of MDF board to this purty thing hangin on my wall! the hair is mucho too orange, but honestly i just needed to get it up there and off my floor..i can always go back and attempt to mix her hair color more successfully later :3.
also i was thinking, it would be really cool to do an art show like this. the idea being you get a room, and as you go around the room (in a certain direction i suppose) it would be like youre really IN a space, and the pieces on the wall would be reacting to each other. it would be cool to get an uber-illustrator to do backgrounds too, but that would be rough, printing out huge to cover the wall. i guess im kind of obsessed with doing big pieces of art..i dunno why, but lately i only feel accomplished unless the thing im holding is about as big as i am, hahaha, i should stop equating size with quality!
so glad we had today off..days off during the week are such stolen moments; times you can make it to stores that usually aren't open, or you don't have time to visit. i think im going to get started messing around with my next project, or maybe try to finish up my deer head (i havn't visited the taxidermy site i signed up for to get help on in a while, but im pretty sure someone posted up super detailed 'how-tos' for me, thank goodness), or maybe ill pick up my room. i'm kind of ticked at myself; i went on this photoshoot in california for work, and we shot at this beautiful house, the kind of house were you know youre looking at everything they have: no cupboards crammed with crap, or stuff sitting out all over the place. its really inspired me to go through my stuff AGAIN, and really try to trash things. or get 'a place for everything', so everything can be in its place. 4reals. the idea of moving all this crap into the city eventually is exhausting just thinking about!
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[14 Feb 2009|06:24pm] |
this afternoon i spent about a 'fellowship' and a half workin on my woodcut! its cool to see physically how the things ive been thinking about are working out.
i think that once i get the outlines on her body it will start looking way more grounded! that plus the black, i still havn't even laid down a single coat of that yet :x i hope that doesnt throw it off too much!
currently im trying to decide if i should haul back into the city tonight for valentines day, or just keep painting...i really dont want to go into the city (still tired from last night, so much traveling ahead of me, blah blah blah), but i have a feeling if i stay here, i'll hit 10 and just be depressed, and will wake up tomorrow sorta depressed..
who knows! at least its a three day weekend :)
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[10 Feb 2009|11:24pm] |
I dunno why but my 'post from livejournal' page on my phone looks totally ridiculous right now. Totally.
I get so freaked out with responsibility. I feel like everytime I do something, its the first time, and there's no room for error. I have to go get two onesies printed at some mall today, and I'm completely freaked that ill mess it up. And if its messed up, its messed up, and its my fault. Omgggg I've only been doing this like 5 seconds noone should trust me!!!!
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[09 Feb 2009|08:42pm] |
So I'm on location in LA for our shoot (for Similac, so babies galore), and I can't believe it, but there are only three of us that aren't married, the same three without kids, but there's like....at least a 8 year gap between me and the one, and prolly a 10 year gap between her and the third. So, in general, I'm feeling like a baby myselfm imagine being married! With KIDS! Good lord sometimes I have prego dreams (probably because of work ugh) and I wake up in a cold sweat with tears in my eyes. I guess 'when you know, you know', but christ! Freaks me the f*ck out!
Hopefully I can go see kim and jessie tonight or tomorrow, and heading back into the city wed night...on the redeye. So hopefully I can take thursday as a 'work from home day' :). I can't wait to finally have a quiet weekend for once!
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[11 Jan 2009|08:25pm] |
Happy 2009!!
mine started out with a late week at work (late being i got home between the hours of 1130-3am every night..yey!), which was punctuated friday with being out till 630 in the morn (havn't done THAT in a while haha) and then spending another day with a friend of mine just hanging out.
so when i got home today around 4ish i hadn't showered since thursday night, but i just ran down to the basement and cut out my sage woodcut! and let me just say...
it's looking pretty good!
i cant believe i managed to cut it out so well...ive never used a portable jigsaw before, and i really didnt fuck it up! im also thinking that maybe i need to keep the outline white instead of black, so you dont lose the details. i was only going to make it black because i was anticipating fucking up cutting it out so :). i love projectos!
in other news, im going to go to DC for Obama's inauguration! i think its going to be SUPER sweet, maybe we could make tshirts or something :D huzzah!
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| i think ill go home and mull this over |
[04 Jan 2009|07:36pm] |
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The Shins - Caring is Creepy |
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my two off-computer projects have been revived after a holiday hiatus! the deer head was a gift for xmas (ive ordered a rack to screw into the top..i cannot wait to have this hanging above my tv!!), and the bottom is my almost-lifesize sage woodcut finally transferred into my primed board. i'm going to go downstairs soon and start messing around with the jigsaw..i want to do a few little figurines for some people for late xmas presents, so im going to sketch some things out and maybe practice on those first. i have no idea how well those lines are going to come out..i guess ill just butt the solid colors overtop of the lines, and hope i can remember enough when i go back with black? im so excited, its going to be bamf when its all done!
in other news, i cant believe i have to wake up tomorrow and go to work. what the fucking hell. where is my mysterious benefactor that will pay me to make them beautiful artworks and live in a flat in london. WHERE.
i have a bunch of resolutions floating around in my head, so maybe now is a good time to seriously write them down:
- have an updated portfolio with at least 3-4 new works finished (and finished means mounted in their books; yeah, im using all the books i made before graduation that i NEVER got to use *grumble*)
- have a list of companies compiled by valentines day
- start setting 'personal work' deadlines for myself and reaching them (even as simple as 'draw every day')
- join AIGA and maybe the Art Directors club before the end of Jan
- be completely paid off debt-wise by the end of jan (just handed over half of what i owe my parents today *woosh*)
- call one person a week just to chat. this can be a family member, highschool friend, friend from ringling, whatever. i have a phone phobia, and the only way to get over it is to stick it in my face
- save whatever money i possibly can for moving out. this means: no more mini shopping sprees (i am so guilyt of this..), more packing of lunches, less drinking (probably good; i think the next time i fall over im going to break a wrist/ankle)
i would love to do more collaborative projects with people..maybe little art trades? drawings, physical things, whatever..something to keep in contact with each other artistically as well as friendly (because ill be calling on the phone!!! HOLEESHEET). i want at least 6k before i move out (i feel like this will get me through first/last/deposit, while also still having money in general), so i'm going to have to more seriously look at freelance. this goes with my deadline problem, since i generally suck at making/meeting them.
i cant wait to move somewhere. ANWYHERE. i love my family to death, but i feel like my whole life is on hold. everything is so easy once im here, but im missing out on so much. really solidifying friendships, experiencing things. having TIME to do ANYTHING. i just hope wherever i move, i can get a studio or one-bedroom. or a two-bedroom with a good friend. wow train of thought much?
also, i thought it would be cute to post pictures of our workspaces..its interesting to think about the place that all the people on our friendslists sit down to write their entries from..
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[04 Jan 2009|02:08am] |
Currently sitting, waiting for the baggage claim belts to start back up. Then, a trip on the tram, picking up the car, then 25 minutes home.
There's nothing worse than coming home after a vacation. I can't believe how awesome it was though; I have a great extended family (for the most part)n and am lookin forward to visiting maggie in boston super soon, maybe kate in san diego! And....I have tan lines!!! I spent almost all of the dylight carefully tending my skin, and even though I got a little ballsy the last day, the red should fade to brown. Tans are seriously, so slimming!
I have a zillion plans for the new year, but the biggest resolution: I create deadlines for myself and ACTUALLY meeting them! Gotta get a new calender tomorrow and start living with a fire under my ass like its senior year at ringling haha.
Sorry I couldn't send new years to my friends who read this..texts were super expensive! So now I say, happy new year ;)
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